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How I Learned To Make The ‘Big’ Decisions

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“INITECH” — The minor play that follows is an actual e-mail exchange, which speaks to the rigors of office life.  Be afraid because you know that it could occur at an office near you.  (The e-mails are unabridged; anything in square brackets represents my own insertions meant to clarify the exchange.  Names and offices have been changed.)

Characters (in order of writing)
BARRY Strongchin, our fearless and erudite leader
JOHN Doe, yours truly, former über-eager lackey
ALEX Wildeyes, former asst. dir.
RITA Careerist, new asst. dir.

[Initial e-mail to all, 24 Aug.]

John, 

Just looking at the Pew publications, I realized that actually they do use the % -- do you have any strong views on this issue? I'm happy to take my cue from you guys.

All the best
Barry

[24 Aug.]

it was alex's suggestion back in the day. i have absolutely no preference
[John]

[E-mail forwarded 24 Aug.]

Alex, 

any suggestions from Uganda? We're trying to honor your heritage here. ;-)

[Barry]

[26 Aug. NB. At this point, two days on, a usually prompt Alex has still not responded.  See below how Barry’s tone darkens, namely in the absence of any emoticons.]

Alex, any views on this? Barry

[26 Aug.]

I refer to the chicago manual of style which spells it out
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Kampala, Uganda [Alex]
  
[26 Aug.]

nothing wrong with Chicago, but how about we just go with the Pew Research Centers?
[Barry]

[Second e-mail, 26 Aug. NB. The new asst. dir. Rita can be a real stickler for clarity, as evidenced below, for example, by the shrieking all-caps word thrown in for some good ol’ rhetorical emphasis.  Note also, however, her frighteningly frequent use of parentheses in such a short message — somewhat of a paradox?]

Hello Barry and John,

I think we should use the percentage sign (%). (The exception is of course when a number is the first word of a sentence in which case BOTH that first number and the word percent should be spelled out.) Although it is true that the Chicago manual of style recommends spelling out the word percent (mostly for purely academic works by the way), [our programme] issues reports and data that should be easily and quickly readible [sic] by academics, public policy makers, and the public alike. Thus, I think we should use the simple sign as Pew does.

Thanks,

Rita 

[26 Aug.]

ok, let's change that then. 

John: can you make the change, and communicate that?

B[arry]

[Final e-mail, 26 Aug. John breathes a heavy sigh of relief.]

no problem. 
best, 
j[ohn]
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